What is a Museum Art Masterpiece?

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Patient is lying in his psychologist’s office on a chestnut-colored chair. His psychologist is sitting five feet away in a nearby, slightly peeling red vinyl chair. The left-handed psychologist scribbles notes with a leaky ball pen that keeps smudging across her hand as she writes down the patient’s symptoms.

Patient: And I can’t even eat my favorite pepperoni pizza slice from the local shop anymore without thinking that the sauce tastes like ground-up anchovies on moist cardboard.

Psychologist: Could it be possible that your favorite pizza shop is actually using ground anchovies?

Patient: No…that’s impossible. I’m half-kosher.  Anyway, there is definitely something wrong with me. I don’t seem to care about anything anymore. NOT ONE THING. But Oh …

(Something catches the Patient’s eye in the corner of the psychologist’s office.)

Psychologist: Yes, please continue.

Patient: Oh. I was just thinking that was a nice piece of artwork you have there.

(The psychologist suddenly stands up in eager excitement. She walks over to the wall hanging the artwork, removing it and bringing it back for the patient to peer closely at.)

Psychologist: (excited) This? I got this for Christmas from a recovered patient. It’s called a Museum Art Masterpiece card. This particular one is by Pierre-Auguste Renoir called “River Landscape.”

Patient: This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen since my wife left me. The incredible 9” x 12” double-matte full-colored art print reproduction really touches my soul.  Also, I can’t get over how classy the gold foil border and cream-colored card stock appear. Please, I must have this.

Psychologist: Well … um see this one is mine. But – (seeing the disappointed look on the patient’s face) – you can buy more from the Gallery Collection online. Each Museum Art Masterpiece card comes in a richly embossed green cover engraved with your greeting choice and personalized imprint in gold foil.

Patient: I’m going to buy them on my smartphone right now. Do they only have pieces by Renoir?

Psychologist: No, they also have Claude Monet, Vincent Van Gogh, Childe Hassam, Paul Ganguin, Camille Pissarro, Colin Campbell Cooper, Charles Neal and more.

Patient: Wow, I don’t know which one to choose from.

Psychologist: “Starry Night” by Van Gogh is a classic and one of my favorites.

Patient: Thanks Doc, I think I’m cured!

Psychologist: OK.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Albert September 24, 2015 at 4:24 pm

I’ll be honest; I began reading this blog, unaware of it’s true intentions. Here, I am sitting back and falling into a perfectly written story. Your introduction to the scene was excellent, I found myself laying upon that same “chestnut-colored chair” and them bam! The reader and the patient find themselves staring upon a master piece, a Museum Art Masterpiece card. I admire your intentions to stray from the normal paragraph model blogs and incorporate a more creative tone. I hope to read more blogs like this one in the future.

Albert

Jacob E October 1, 2015 at 12:15 pm

The detail and effort you put in really made this post over the top. Reading it gave me a good laugh, excellent humor is something you can’t find in too many companies blogs these days. Keep up the great work xD

monique October 2, 2015 at 2:42 pm

I loved the introduction to this blog. At first I wasn’t quite sure how the story fit into the title but as I continued to read I was amazed. Very creative and looking at all the are pieces especially what was recommended they are quite exquisite.

Marge L. October 6, 2015 at 11:53 am

Ha ummm this was not what I was expecting it to be at all!

Kerry October 7, 2015 at 11:20 am

Well that was a big surprise LOL. It was an interesting story, really draws in the reader. Loved the comedy!

Jill October 13, 2015 at 12:38 pm

Very cute how this was written! A refreshing twist on how most blogs are written. Definitely makes you want to read it to the end to see how the scenario turns out!

BENTLEY FITZPATRICK October 22, 2015 at 5:12 pm

I love the story and the cards are wonderful ( of course they are they are master pieces ), but it is nice to be able to write your own sentiments in them.

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